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10
Stepping Stones to Spiritual,
Physical and Emotional Health
by
Gerald Jampolsky, M.D. and Diane V. Cirincione, Ph.D.
In
business as well as in our personal lives nothing causes more stress
and diminished output than relationship problems. It is our fault finding
and condemning others as well as ourselves that not only causes us stress
but also has the potential of being injurious to our health. The grievances
we hold on to someone we feel has wronged us or the grievances that
we carry with us from old and new personal relationships can play an
significant role in many of the illnesses that we seek medical attention
for.
If
you saw an advertisement about a new drug that guaranteed to free everyone
from anger, grievances, guilt and shame, as well as many of the headaches,
backaches, insomnia and other ailments that are frequently caused by
our angry emotions and unforgiving thoughts, and if you were told that
this remedy had no side effects, that it was impossible to overdose
on it, and that it was free, wouldn’t you rush out to buy that
drug_
The simple decision to forgive will do that and so much more. Through
conscious forgiveness, you will find yourself feeling peaceful, happy,
fully alive and with a zest for living that is beyond your imagination.
The fact is that holding on to grievances and unforgiving thoughts is
like putting toxins into the mind. We would never knowingly ingest poison,
yet we continue to keep angry, toxic thoughts in our minds. Our emotions
affect our immune system and every organ in the body. Holding on to
"attack thoughts" and grudges is like taking poison and expecting
someone else to die!
The decision not to forgive is actually a decision to continue suffering.
Why then do so many of us find it so difficult to forgive_ We believe
it is because we do not understand the function and benefits of such
a practice. It is essential to realize that to forgive someone is not
to condone or approve of a horrendous act. It does not mean that the
individual is not responsible for what he or she has done. Forgiveness
simply means that we have made the decision to heal our own minds by
letting go of the hurtful past, a past that our anger and judgments
cannot change.
Zalinda
Carusa Ziegler is an example of how toxic thoughts affect the body.
Fourteen years ago her nineteen-year-old son was murdered by a casual
acquaintance who was convicted of the murder and sentenced to prison.
Whenever he was up for parole, Zalinda, with her family and friends,
would testify that this man should never be released from prison. She
believed that he had committed an unforgivable act and should remain
in prison for the rest of his life.
Through the years, Zalinda developed an increasing number of medical
problems. Her hair began falling out; her gall bladder acted up; she
had gastrointestinal problems; and she frequently felt depressed and
agitated. Zalinda realized that revenge had become her primary purpose
in life and that stoking the fire of what she considered her justified
anger preoccupied most of her thoughts.
It was about this time that she read one of our books, Love is Letting
Go of Fear, and decided that rather than anger and revenge, she wanted
peace of mind. She began visiting this murderer in prison, and initially
shared only her anger and lack of forgiveness with him. After several
months, she began to notice a few positive characteristics about this
man.
As time went on, she was able to forgive him and even became instrumental
in his parole from prison. The day he was released, she was there to
drive him away from the prison. Simultaneously, all of her medical problems
disappeared. Zalinda continues to work with prisoners, sharing her powerful
story of forgiveness and healing.
Several
years ago we met a physician who told us how he and his brother had
had such a terrible disagreement that they did not speak to each other
for over seven years. This physician finally recognized that his angry,
unforgiving thoughts toward his brother were simply boomeranging back
onto him. He decided that he was not going to hang on to the hurtful
past, called his brother, and invited him to have breakfast the next
morning. He did not know how his brother would react and there was a
long silence before his brother agreed. They shared a two–hour
breakfast and all the hostility of the past dissolved and they parted
friends. Three days later his brother was killed in an automobile accident.
Forgiveness is the bridge to love, peace, happiness and well being.
It allows us to say good-bye to guilt, blame and shame. It purifies
the heart and soul and puts us in touch with all that is sacred. Through
forgiveness, we connect with that which is greater than ourself and
become the person God intended us to be.
The key to forgiveness is the willingness to make the effort. How long
it takes depends on your belief system. If you think it can’t be
done, it won’t happen. If you believe it will take years, that
will be your experience. But if you are willing to believe that it can
be done in an instant, that is all it will take.
The Stepping Stones to Forgiveness
